We continue our incredible conversation with Pheonix Wild as she speaks openly about topics she finds difficult to bring up on her social platforms, her home births and travelling with young children.
What’s your biggest tip for staying balanced? I saw a cute little video of your kids meditating, is this something you practise daily?
Get into nature. That’s my church, my place where I remember to be present and solemn in my views on my daily life and the world around me. I do not practice meditation mindfully every day, it’s something I have to work at with managing 3 young children. But I am in constant prayer. And for every mother, that is most of the meditation we need.
Traveling with kids can be exhausting and an epic venture. What's your number one tip? And your number one product you always take when travelling?
Be open-minded and open to plans changing, try and laugh more than you shout and always bring plenty of snacks. I don't think there's any one particular product I always have on hand when traveling because I believe in the art of rotation, so something that worked for the last travel trip might not work for this one. And my kids get bored when seeing the same things. I'm not as organised as I was when I didn't have children and for some reason, it's working!
Do you use your channels of communication as a source of being a strong voice to advocate and speak on topics that you feel strongly about? And if so what areas have you spoken on that you would recommend our readers to watch?
I go through waves of this. Like I said before, people can be quite critical and mean on the internet. I don't like to banter in the comments so usually you will see my political voice come strongly through poetry and memes. I like to be stealthy haha! On Youtube, I did a video called ‘Why we moved to Africa during a pandemic’ and I definitely recommend hearing my voice about that topic. It's an important area for everyone to understand as Black Americans have a unique journey on this planet from being in captivity and desperately looking to connect with a culture of unknown origin.
What areas have been difficult for you to speak on and then do you find it hard to release it to the world?
Recently, speaking on the problems in Africa and my views surrounding the positive image I'd rather focus on has brought up a lot of strange things for people. Mostly, the native Africans view me as a privileged Black American who should not speak or involve myself in politics or anything because I am not native to those lands. I find it difficult to speak on this area because all that I and my family/Black Americans want is to be accepted and understood SOMEWHERE. In America, we are being murdered and systematic racism is still heavy and in Africa we are being looked at as either loaded with money or stuck up. It is difficult to speak about it because all I desired for my journey in Africa was to find some culture to connect with. But sometimes it feels like we are unwanted here too. The world is a difficult place. When we can find love, it is important to hold fast to it.
Touching on pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding... It can be the most magical and precious time and also hold challenging times. How has this journey been for you and what would your number one piece of advice be for women going through this?
My journey has been all of that and more. I often think when asking this question how difficult it must be for mothers doing it alone and how grateful I am to have done this journey with my children's father by my side. So with that advice, I would say to women to find their community, if it's not their partner, find those friends, even if they are on the internet, reconnect with your family. The challenging times come when we feel alone or that no one understands us or has been where we are. For every experience in motherhood, there have been billions of mothers who have experienced and/or are currently experiencing what we deem as impossible in that moment.
What is it like travelling when pregnant and then for your births? Do you plan home births or hospital births?
I love giving birth at home. It’s the most natural to me. My first birth with my son was attempted at home and then we transferred to birth at the hospital and my daughters were both born at home. I think the biggest barrier I come across is deciding on a midwife and if I even need one. Each birth I utilise less and less assistance from anyone and they have only been faster and more exhilarating. I look forward to mostly free birthing for my 4th, I really want to just sneeze a baby out in ecstasy just to know I could do that!
What’s your favourite moment been with your children?
When we finally touched down in Africa. We had been telling them for weeks of our plans and the flight was SO long. Once we literally landed it felt like the biggest gift to them and they were feeling so accomplished and amazed. I'll never forget their faces and all the dancing and celebration we did in that moment.
How do you and your partner stay aligned? Do you take time for yourselves?
Date nights, laughter, and long talks into the night.
Your favourite Daughters of India piece?
The Aahna Dress in Walnut. I live in that dress!
By Erin Pyers
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